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.He was going all Sphinx-like Handler on me again.I hated that.Straight answers weresimpler, but he liked proving his point.Challenging me to do the work myself. She was in the sandbox with other kids, I said, thinking back over the information I dread. Probably not having fun.She wanted to go to the toy store and see her favoriteanimals.It was a place she liked and felt safe.She didn t like her preschool, so she wentout to the playground.She was shy, an introvert. By nature, shy people are more likely to be what?I worked the question over in my mind until the answer came screaming at me. Shewas lonely.You think loneliness is the trigger? It s a logical trigger. Is yours logical? Not really. What is it? Also not telling. Come on, Wyatt, you need to teach me how to do this.I can t just drum up lonelinessand hope I land ten feet away.What if I reappear in between walls? That could hurt.He heaved a sigh dramatic enough to make a professional actor proud. It s arrogance,okay? Haughty, highbrow arrogance at its worst.My lips twitched. So what? You forget to put your arrogance away when you re donewith it?His eyebrows scrunched.He opened his mouth to retort.I stuck my tongue out agesture guaranteed to force a smile.It worked.A shadow passed my peripheral vision a large bird shape that was gone before Iturned my head.Too big for a pigeon, but what else? I thought of Danika and wasstruck by a sudden pang of sadness. Evy? Yeah? Had he been talking? Do you feel the Break right now? You said it felt tingly, like static.I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, exhaled.It was there, but more distant than in FirstBreak.The faintest hint of static just below the surface.I latched on to the buzz andurged it closer.Asked it to burn just a little brighter.It ignored me and remained far away, the palest notion of power. It s there, I said. Barely, but it s there. Use your trigger to bring it forward.Concentrate on feelings of loneliness. Uh-huh. Hard to feel lonely when he was crowding me.He wouldn t always be there,though.At the end of this day, one of us (or both) would be dead, forever parted.Alone.Tears stung my eyes.Nostrils flared.Instinct told me to push those thoughts away andstay positive, but I needed that emotion.Needed to feel the loneliness.I held on, tryingto imagine living without Wyatt.Spending the next five or ten or thirty years withouthim in my life.Without his voice in my head.The faint buzz crashed on top of me like a waterfall, zinging through from head to toesand back out again.The hair on my arms tingled.My skin flushed, at once hot and cold.Every single cell in my body seemed to vibrate, threatened to fly apart at any momentand scatter me to the four winds. I feel it, I said, tears spilling down my cheeks. I ve tapped in, Wyatt. Picture the other side of the roof, Evy.Just a few feet.Let the Break take you there.I thought of a spot ten feet away, next to the edge.The tar seemed thinner there, readyto wear through at any moment and leak into the cheap apartment below.My bodyvibrated.The oddest sensation of movement was punctuated by a blinding headache.Iwobbled, then toppled sideways when my hands found no traction.Something slammed into me.I fell a short distance and hit the soft tar roof with a bodyon top of me.My eyes snapped open.Wyatt stared down, his eyes wide and fearful,mouth open and panting.The pain in my head subsided to a dull ache and settledbetween my eyes. What happened? I asked. It worked.You overshot a little, though.We had landed on the soft tar roof, arms nearly touching the ledge.Ten inches to theleft, and I d have missed completely.My stomach knotted. Holy shit, I almost killedmyself. We just need to practice. Easy for you to say.He settled in, making no effort to get off me.I pushed my hips against his.He gruntedand pushed right back, teasing.Jerk. You going to get off me? I asked. You can get out from beneath me.Drumming up the loneliness took longer the second time, due in no small part to Wyatt.It was difficult to imagine being without him when he was on top of me, seriouslyaffecting my concentration.I thought about our time together in Amalie s home.What if that had been our lastopportunity to be together? Annoyance melted into sadness.I latched on and turned ituntil the tap opened.The static poured through me again.Wyatt s face faded.The ache increased.My vision blurred into a mass of swirlingcolors and unfocused shapes.I was moving again, but realized too late I hadn t focusedon a destination.The ache flared into a sharp spike of agony that threaded through my skull from top tobottom.I shrieked.Movement stopped.I fell and hit a cool, slick surface and curled upinto a little ball.The headache didn t relent.Pain speared through me.Bright spots ofcolor burst in my eyes.It dulled in time and awareness returned.Familiar smells and voices.A hand on myshoulder, another on the small of my back, rubbing in gentle circles.I focused on thosemovements, let them calm my nerves and frazzled brain, then cracked one eye open.The kitchen in Rufus s apartment.Lucky transport.Wyatt was behind me, whisperingsoft words of support.And apology.I turned my head.Each muscle in my neckprotested.Wonder and pride shined in his face. That was impressive, he said. Hurt like hell, I replied. Side effects are a bitch.I groaned an affirmation. How d you know I d end up here? I didn t.When you didn t reappear, I panicked and started looking.Nadia found me inthe stairwell. His hands continued to massage my back and shoulders. But on the plusside, we know you can move through solid objects. Yeah, and it feels like I m being ripped apart. Want to practice some more? Fuck you, Truman.I need aspirin and a nap.He scooped me up into his arms, and I let him.The blinding headache had turned to adebilitating throb.My stomach swirled and threatened to empty.I imagined it was somesort of magic-induced migraine.Only time would fade the pain enough to let me thinkproperly.Until then, I simply allowed Wyatt to settle me on the sofa, tuck a blanketaround my shoulders, and watch over me while I tossed on the edge of agonizedslumber.* * *The nap lasted longer than I d planned the bits of sunlight that had peeked throughRufus s dark curtains were gone but I woke refreshed.The ache still lingered on thevery edge of my senses, no longer strong enough to affect me.I focused on the roomand the soft hum of nearby voices.Wyatt, Nadia, and Rufus were gathered around the dining table.I couldn t hear theconversation, but Rufus had his cellular phone out and open.The apartment wasotherwise quiet, almost serene. What time is it? I asked.Wyatt s head snapped in my direction.He grinned. Almost eleven at night, SleepingBeauty.We need to go, if we re going to manage any recon before reinforcementsarrive. They re coming?Rufus angled his wheelchair to face me. I called in a few favors.Three o clock at thegas station, like you said.They trust me enough to trust you. Great. I sat up and swung my legs over the side of the sofa.Dizziness blacked out myvision for a short span, but I covered with a sunny smile. You said something earlierabout weapons?As promised, the hall closet hid a large black trunk.Nadia produced a key to thearsenal.Wyatt and I delved inside without waiting for permission.I strapped a pair ofserrated knives to my ankles; their weight was familiar and comforting [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]