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. Whywould you even think that?If the fear had felt like a heartseizure, the relief felt like jumping off abungee platform.Tom blew a blast of airout of his lungs that turned into laughter. God, you scared me then!But Owen was still scowling. Imean it.Why would you think that?Tom stared at him, bewildered byhis irritation. Um because of whatyou said? he offered in a tone of voicethat suggested Owen was asking him toconfirm the bleeding obvious.Which hewas, in Tom s opinion.Owen didn t smile. I didn t sayanything to suggest I d done somethingbad.Just that I was going to be a betterboyfriend.Why would you immediatelyassume I m talking about, what, cheatingor something?It was a fair question.The answerwas easy too, though not to admit to. I suppose, Tom said slowly, because it s my biggest fear.Owen looked shocked at that. What? Why? What reason have I evergiven you to worry about that?Tom sighed.He flopped back downon the mattress and covered his eyeswith his arm.He couldn t look Owen inthe eye as he admitted the truth in flatvoice. You re twenty-four.When I wasyour age, I was fucking everything thatmoved. Oh right, so obviously that s whatI want be to be doing?Tom laughed without humor. Idon t know, but I wouldn t blame you ifyou did.You were just a kid when wegot together  Yeah, and that s how you vealways seen me, isn t it, Tom? It s stillhow you see me! Christ, you act likeyou re my father sometimes.Tom moved his arm away from hiseyes.Not that Owen noticed.He was toobusy contemplating the duvet, apparentlyfascinated by the swirling pattern. That is not how I see ourrelationship, Owen. Oh really? Owen soundedunconvinced; then he looked up and metTom s gaze, his own unhappy. Youknow what I realized today, Tom? Muchas I love you, the fact is, we don t havean equal partnership. Of course we have an equalpartnership! Tom protested. Didn t Itransfer half the house to you? Yes, you did, Owen agreed. Even though I pay way less than youtoward the mortgage.You ve alwaysbeen incredibly generous, Tom.That snot what I m talking about. Then what are you talking about? You take care of everything.Youindulge all my whims. I like taking care of you  Whenever we go out, you drive.You arrange all our holidays becauseI m too lazy to search for flights on theInternet.Last week you spent two hoursfinding the best car insurance deal forme because I was busy playing FIFA13. I don t mind. You should mind.You sent mymum flowers for Mother s Day and letme take the credit when she phoned up tothank me.You always pay when we goout.Tom laughed. This is silly.Owen turned a serious look on him. You don t admit to me that you restressed at work.You always tell meyou ve got everything under control, asthough I can t handle the truth.As thoughI haven t noticed you re not sleepingproperly. Owen.I  He broke off, seeingfor the first time that this wasn t justabout who paid the bills. And, Owen continued, lyingdown to settle his head beside Tom s onthe pillow,  you never told me that youlike to submit.Tom closed his eyes.All true. I m sorry, he whispered. We ve been together for fiveyears, Tom.You couldn t tell me in allthat time?Tom shook his head, eyes stillclamped shut. You were so young whenwe got together, he whispered. Howcould I corrupt you with all that? It wasbad enough I was ten years older.I justwanted us to have a normal, healthyrelationship.God, Owen, your dad wasalready looking at me like I was somekind of pervert!Owen gave a bark of laughter. What are you talking about, you idiot?My dad loves you!Tom opened his eyes.Owen s blueeyes were dancing with amusement. He didn t love me then, Tomsaid. Believe me.We had a couple ofvery uncomfortable conversations at thestart. Christ, Tom, he is my dad! Itwasn t easy for him.He didn t see thegay thing coming at all.I play rugby, forGod s sake!Tom laughed weakly at that. But he does love you.He was justsaying to me at Christmas how glad hewas I met you so early on.Probablythinks meeting you stopped me going outand fucking half the gay men in the freeworld. Lesser of two evils?Owen chuckled. Probably, yeah.Well, what parent wants to think abouttheir child having sex with anyone? Or vice versa, Tom agreed,shuddering. The thing is, though, Owen said,gently moving them back to the subject, for whatever reason, you still treat melike some immature kid who can t takecare of himself.Who you can t corruptby asking for sex the way you reallywant it. No! Tom interrupted. Don t youdare start thinking that I ve been secretlylonging to be spanked all this time! It snot like I was in the lifestyle and gave itup to be with you. Well, what was it like? It was nothing! I found it sexy, so Ibought some mags and DVDs to wank to.Oh, and once, I went to a club, though Ionly watched. Did you do anything with anydoms? Nope.I let one boyfriend spankme a couple of times, but it wasn tanything much.He wasn t a dom. You never wanted to try it outproperly? Be honest, please, Tom.Youwent to a club, so that tells me youwanted to do more than just wank aboutit.Tom felt himself flush but forcedhimself to be honest. I suppose I wasinterested in exploring it at some pointwith the right partner. And that s not me?Tom thought of the way Owen hadjust fucked him.The effortless way he dtaken control, reducing Tom to a heap ofquivering need.His cock hardenedagain, just at the thought. If you wanted it, you d be myperfect partner, Tom admitted, flushingeven hotter. But I would never ask youto do anything you don t want to, and Idon t need it anywhere as much as I needyou.Owen paused. And if I want ittoo?Tom returned Owen s searchinglook, his heart suddenly beating way toofast. Do you?Owen gave a soft laugh. Oh yeah.Iwatched one of your DVDs thisafternoon, the college student one.AndGod, did I want to be that professor! So why did you present yourselflike a sub when I got home tonight?Now it was Owen s turn to lookdiscomfited.After a brief silence, he said,  Itdidn t occur to me that you would seeyourself in the sub role. Why? For the reasons we ve just beentalking about.You ve spent the last fiveyears taking care of me.The idea thatyou might ever want to give up controljust didn t occur to me. So it was nothing to do with youwanting to be the sub?If Tom had entertained any doubts,they were dispelled by Owen s reaction. God, no! Wasn t that obvious fromthe way I just fucked you?Tom smiled, embarrassed andpleased at once. That was hot. Fucking hot.I want to do it again.Iwant to do everything to you, Tom. What do you mean  everything ?Owen gave a grin, inching closerand palming Tom s arse firmly. I wantto spank this.Hard.I want to hear youbeg for my cock in your mouth and yourarse.I want to tie you up and torture youwith pleasure and refuse to let you come [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]