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.“Apparently my conduct toward the Lady Ashara has already been noted in certain quarters, so I will have to be more circumspect in the future.And that means leaving the seating arrangements strictly alone.”A slight shake of her head, and my sister replied, “Circumspect? That is so unlike you.”I shot her a pained look.“Truly, I have very little opportunity to be anything but circumspect, as my entire life is governed by etiquette and tradition.As is yours.”The amused glint disappeared from her eyes, and she watched me carefully.“Too well I know that, even if I try to forget it as best I can.”“And does it ever weary you? Do you ever long to escape?”She smiled then, but it was a small, sad smile.“I think everyone does, from time to time.The bricklayer must weary of his labor in the warm sun, and the seamstress must tire of staring at row upon row of stitches, ruining her eyesight to make sure they are all even.And when I think of them, or people like them, then I think I should not be overly dissatisfied with my lot.I never have to worry about being hungry, or cold, or whether I shall earn enough to put food in the mouths of my children.So perhaps we have our own prison, but it is a very fine one, a cell that most people would happily be confined within.”I could not recall ever hearing her speak in such a fashion before, and I stared at her in some surprise.“And have you spoken with these bricklayers and seamstresses, so you might know their minds?”“I have spoken to more people than you might imagine, Torric.I speak to my maids and my wardrobe mistress and the cooks and the footmen.You see me writing all the time, but have you ever asked me what it is that I am writing?”To my shame, I had not.I thought perhaps she was writing letters — although to whom, I did not know — or perhaps was setting down some sort of memoir.My silence seemed to be the only answer she required.“I am writing the stories they tell me, Torric.Sometimes it is tales their mothers or grandmothers have told them, and sometimes it is accounts of things which have occurred in their own lives.They are not merely servants, but people with their own lives and hopes and fears.They speak to me, because I encourage it, and hearing their stories allows me to live a life beyond what I have here in the palace.And so I write them down, that they may not be forgotten.”I reflected then how it was that I could spend so much time with her, speak of so many things, and yet never have discussed this with her before.I said as much, and she lifted her shoulders.“To be fair, Torric, I did not volunteer any information on the subject, either.I did not know what you would think if I said that I was writing down so much of what those people — people you would consider common, I suppose — had told me.I thought it best to keep it to myself.”Yes, very likely I would have laughed, or at the very least questioned her judgment in cultivating such an intimate acquaintance with those so far outside her social circle.If she needed confidantes, she certainly did not lack for noblemen’s daughters who would have eagerly seized the chance to become close to the Crown Princess.And I guessed it was for that very reason that she did not cultivate such friendships.To my surprise, she came to me and took my hands in hers, squeezing my fingers gently before she released them and stepped back a pace.Her expression was very thoughtful.“I think it is a wonderful thing you are doing, you know,” she said.“You are making your own fate, not the one our father imagined for you.Yes, you are the Emperor, and though you wield great power, one power has been taken from you — the power to walk away.You would never abdicate your duty.But perhaps if you follow your heart, you will find that the crown does not weigh quite so heavily.” A quick, shy smile, and she added, “And I can only hope that I will be able to make such a choice when the time comes.”“You will,” I promised, for it seemed clear enough to me that, teasing remarks aside, she thought the Duke of Marric’s Rest would be a good match for her.I would certainly do everything in my power to see that such a thing came to pass — once my own future was settled, of course.“And when the Emperor of Sirlende says such a thing, then I know it will happen.” The teasing glint was back in her eyes.“But be of good cheer, Torric, for you will see this Ashara again this evening, and that is not so far off.Indeed, I must be getting back to my own suite soon, or Liseth is sure to chide me for not giving her enough time to dress my hair.”“Oh, I am sure the greater part of four hours is not sufficient for that task.”Lyarris only shook her head, and stood on her tiptoes to give me a swift kiss on the cheek before departing the room.After she left, Kraine once again took up his position just within the door, and I forced myself not to sigh.In that moment I wished I had an insistent lady’s maid to fuss over me.It might do something to fill up my time.Instead, I went to my desk and took up my pen, and pretended to pore over a report one of my engineers had sent me, a proposal for improving the drainage in the Marlenthe District, which was prone to flooding during the rainy season.It was not very compelling reading, but I had little else to occupy me.In that moment I wondered what she was doing, this Ashara Millende.Was she spending the afternoon in preparations for this evening’s dinner, or did she have something more worthy to fill these hours which seemed to stretch interminably?* * *I should have known that Lord Hein would handle the matter of the seating arrangements with the precision of one of my generals preparing his latest campaign.“Of course it would not do to have you move your seat, Your Majesty,” he told me, after I had summoned him to my office to drill him on the preparations.Yes, perhaps I should have inquired into these details earlier, but at the time it had not seemed all that important to me, as I had never imagined that my fancy would be so caught by a young woman this early in the week.Now I was keenly interested to know what my chances of encountering Ashara tonight might be.“Of course,” I said, pretending to look over the diagram he had laid before me, a diagram which consisted of meticulously drawn rectangles and squares — representing, I supposed, the tables and chairs set up in the ballroom, as even the great dining chamber could not hope to contain such numbers.“So,” he continued, “at the end of each course the ladies will move on to the next table, giving them the opportunity to circulate.True, they will still not all have the chance to converse with you, Your Majesty, but at least this removes the problem of one set of young women sitting at the high table for the entire meal [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]