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.The color of theireyes.I followed Daniel as he walked, standing beside him when he stopped.My hands were claspedin front of me and I had absolutely no idea what I was supposed to do. Hello, said Mr.Thorne, at last.Daniel just nodded, tightly.He rested his hand on my shoulder. This is my wife, he said. Maddy.But you already know that, I suppose.Mr.Thorne smiled, extending his hand to me.I shook it firmly.I didn t really know what wasexpected of me, but I figured I might as well be courteous to the man. It s nice to meet you, I said, which sounded absurd under the circumstances. Likewise, said my father-in-law.He made a move to go sit down at one of the tables, and I followed, Daniel tailing behind mesomewhat reluctantly.I didn t know what he d expected to happen.Did he think his father would becontent with just a quick  hello after all these years?Of course, he hadn t expected to see his father at all.As we sat down, I searched his face for somesign of shock or even mild surprise.But he seemed resigned to it, which solidified my idea that hehadn t really cared, one way or the other.Whether his father was alive or dead, he really neverwanted to see the man again.But here we were.There was no turning back from it.This will be good for him.For both of them.For us.I had to keep reassuring myself of that, nomatter how unsure I was.I rested my hand on my stomach, unthinkingly.I couldn t feel a difference yet, but I d been assuredI would - and soon. So, said Daniel. Why did you want to meet?He was being cold and disingenuous, just the same as with journalists that he didn t like.I thoughtit was a bit much, but then again, I couldn t really blame him. I just wanted to see you again, said Mr.Thorne.He tilted his head vaguely in my direction. Iwanted to meet your wife.I wanted to find out if it was true, what I read in the paper. Regardless, said Daniel,  I think you re the one who owes me some answers.Mr.Thorne steepled his fingers together. I think that s fair. He took a deep breath. When I left,I really thought I was never coming back.I thought you - you and your sister - would be better offwithout me.Daniel s lip was twitching like he wanted, badly, to sneer a little.I laid my hand on his arm. I d reached a point in my life, his father went on,  where there didn t seem to be any way to goon I realized I was too much of a coward to kill myself.But if I faked my death, I could go on.I couldstart over.I could set out and make a new life for myself, and I wouldn t have to keep thinking aboutall the mistakes I d made.He paused, letting out a long breath and unlacing his fingers. I wasn t really& thinkingrationally. You don t say, Daniel muttered. But back then, it did seem like the solution.Not a good one, but a solution.There are no goodsolutions to that kind of situation, I don t think.He looked up at us for a moment, as if seeking some sort of validation.Daniel just looked at himas if he d landed from another planet. Of course I regret it now, Mr.Thorne said. Looking back on it, it s hard to believe that personwas me.I d never make a decision like that now.Not in a thousand years.But the fact of the matter isthat I did once, and now I have to deal with the consequences of that decision. And what are those consequences, exactly? Daniel asked, very softly.Mr.Thorne cleared his throat. Missing so many years with my son and my daughter, he said, hisvoice sounding just slightly strained. And of course, the possibility that neither one of you is going towant to be around me.I wouldn t blame you, but it would mean I ve made the kind of mistake I can tcome back from. He paused for a moment. And that& that, I don t know how I would face. If you re trying to send me on a guilt trip&  Daniel started. I m not. Mr.Thorne looked up from the table again, and I swore that his eyes looked slightlymisty. Do you remember that Christmas you wanted the remote control car? Yes, said Daniel, tightly. I was so proud of you, he said. Because you didn t cry.I thought - I thought you were going togrow up into exactly the kind of man I wanted you to be. He swallowed, audibly. You have no ideahow many times I ve cried like a little girl since I left.I m not ashamed to admit it, anymore.Daniel made a small noise - I couldn t tell if he was touched or disgusted, or possibly somemixture of both. And did I? he said, his voice still flat and emotionless. Are you asking me if I m proud of you? said Mr.Thorne. Of course I am.Sitting quietly next to Daniel, watching the two men talk, I didn t know what to make of this at all.I knew that my own parents had a remarkable ability to say whatever they felt like they needed to sayto get back into my good graces, if I ever got really angry with them - only to go back to their oldways as soon as things settled back down.I wondered if that was happening here, if Daniel, at least,suspected it was going to happen.But it was impossible to say, wasn t it? After a man fakes his owndeath and disappears for years, who can say how his state of mind might change?This whole thing was more than a little surreal [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]