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.Gabe tried the herbs on a bite of his eggs and then sprinkled it over the rest."You're agreat cook.And now you're getting me presents? I didn't know we were up to presents.""Well, not yet.I just had an idea and thought I'd try it.Give me a couple of weeks.It'll bea surprise." Sean leaned over and kissed him."I love surprises! Gabe grinned at him before sipping from his glass of milk."Can I ask a personal question?" Sean asked and he saw Gabe tense up.Before Gabe couldanswer, Sean plunged on."So, uh, how'd you know you were gay?"He could see the palpable relief on Gabe's face.It wasn't time to ask about the legs yet.Itmight never be time to ask.He didn't really care about the details of that surgery.Gabe grinned at him."I never got too hot when looking at Britney videos, but N'Sync gotme hard?"Sean laughed at that."You're doing better than me.It took me a while to figure it out." Acar backfired.Sean jumped, knocking over his chair as he hit his feet, reaching for a rifle.He23caught himself, looked sheepish and set his chair back up."Shit.Sorry.I'll get better.Peopledo get better.Daddy was okay after Nam and Grandpa after Normandy.""Military family," Gabe said thoughtfully, around his last bite of eggs.Sean nodded."Mom was an Army nurse.She met Dad in Saigon.They got married in 75,after the end of the war.They were so proud of me making the grades and going to the AirForce Academy."Gabe smiled softly."There must be something comforting about never having a doubtwhat you're expected to do.""Never a lick of doubt, not until I was fourteen.That's when I found out about queers.Ithought all boys wanted other boys, wanted to be around them and hug them and slug them.Ifigured Jason and I would move in together after we got out of the military and haveadventures forever."Seeing Gabe's amused look, Sean plunged on."I watched Dad and his buddies.I watchedall the old war movies.And the guys were always more important than any woman.Womenwere for having kids, or screwing around with.Men were your real friends, your real brothers,the people who had your back."Gabe nodded, understanding what Sean was trying to say."The phrase you want ishomosocial male bonding."Sean nodded."Yeah, that." He went on."Then when I was older, I started hearing aboutqueers and how it was the worst thing that could happen to a man, the worst possible thing aboy could be.How it stopped you from getting in the military.I never even suspected therewas anything wrong until then.So I shut it up, shoved it down and told myself it was just adeep connected feeling to my brothers in arms.I fucked women, so I couldn't possibly be oneof those."Gabe grinned."And then you learned better.I get to show you all about it now."Sean took a deep breath."I'm bisexual." It was the first time he'd ever said the words oreven thought them through.He did feel relieved that he did, though, almost as if a weight hadjust left him."Congratulations.You've just taken your first step into a larger world," Gabe quoted.Sean laughed."Just don't make me a weapon of patricide and regime change, okay? Hadenough of the last at the hands of my good uncle." Gabe shot him a puzzled look."UncleSam."Sean washed up the breakfast dishes and then carried Gabe back downstairs."I've had areally nice couple days.I'm sorry I'm so jumpy.""It's all right.I enjoyed your company." Gabe stole a kiss on the second floor landing.Sean got him settled in the wheelchair."You free Saturday morning?" Getting a nod fromGabe, he asked softly, "You think you can get me to the thrift shop five blocks over? I tried togo last week and freaked on the third block.""I'll get you there and back," Gabe promised.The super was at the desk, so Sean offeredhis hand.Gabe shook it with both of his."I'll see you Saturday.About nine?"24"That's great.Bye, Gabe." Sean watched as Gabe wheeled out of the lobby and up thestreet.He caught the super's glare as he headed back upstairs.Thursday and Friday passed in a haze of writing and canned chili and nightmares.Withhis new experience, Sean went back over the oral sex scene and revised it into somethingmuch hotter.He loved the image of the big bull on his knees sucking the centaur.He printedand signed a couple of contracts, getting them ready to mail.He didn't feel like braving thesuper and after yesterday the post office was out of the question [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]