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.It was not the freshclean smell of being born, but instead the old smell of dirt and decay.Bill heard Pete tromping around the trailer in his direction.He slippedinside and locked the door.He listened with his ear to the door.He heardPete come up on the steps and pull the handle.The handle popped back intoPage 66ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.htmlplace out of Pete s hand.He heard Pete say:  Blow me.You blow me, I blowyou.Turns.Bill took a deep breath and let it out as quietly as possible.He heard thesteps creak and thought he heard Pete moving away.He went to the windowbeside the Ice Man s freezer, eased back the curtain and peeked out.Pete wasstaring back at the window over his shoulder.Bill was certain Pete saw him.Bill let the curtain drop slowly.He went over to the bed, kicked off hissocks and shoes, lay down and looked at the ceiling.A few minutes later hegot up and turned off the light and looked out the window and saw that Petehad turned and was facing the window, watching.It was as if Pete hadforgotten who he had made his blow job deal with.Bill dropped the curtain, lay back down and looked at the ceiling some more.I should have killed Pete, he thought.I could have killed him and maybesomehow fixed it so Double Buckwheat took the rap.I thought of that and Ididn t do it.I think of things I should do and don t do, and things Ishouldn t do, and those I do.It s the way I am.I wouldn t know a good choiceif it bit me in the ass and hung on.He got up and turned on the light and looked at himself in the bathroommirror.His shirt was filthy where he had been crawling on the damp ground.And so was the front of his pants.He took his shirt and pants off and,wearing his underwear, he hauled them into the shower with him.He scrubbedhis clothes with the bar of soap and scrubbed himself.He squeezed water outof his clothes and hung them up to dry on the shower curtain.He peeled offthe wet underwear and twisted water out of them and hung them up as well.Hedried off and went over to the window and looked out.Pete was still there,looking expectant.Bill went back to bed and lay there naked.I need to go out there now, before daylight, and make Pete think I m going toblow him, and take him down to the river and toss him in and let him drown.No.I ve done too much already.What I ought to do is get up there on thewhirligig and screw those bolts back on with my fingers so they re tightenough to hold, that s what I ought to do.So far I haven t killed anyone.I ve made some fuck-ups, but Chaplin killed that guy at the firecracker stand,and Mama died and I didn t report it, and the cop chased Fat Boy and me intothe swamp and Fat Boy died of snake bites, then the deputy killed himself byaccident, but I haven t killed anyone.No one.Not yet.I could stop all of this if I just go up there and fasten those bolts.Christ,I ought not to have loosened them in the first place.I should have stayedinside.I shouldn t have answered the door.I shouldn t have picked up thatwrench, and I sure shouldn t have climbed up there to loosen those bolts.Ishouldn t ever have laid down with that devil woman.I got time to correctthings.I can go out there in a bit and climb up again and fasten those boltswith my fingers.I can do that.And I will.So what? You don t help her, she ll get him anyway.It might not be the daycoming, but it ll be some tomorrow soon.Sure, that s right.But it won t be me doing it.I could even tell Frost.Icould warn him.I could do all kinds of things and it wouldn t happen at all.I don t need her.I don t need anything she s got.But then I like what she sgot.She s got plenty.She s got whatever it is, and she s got plenty of it,whatever it is.The thing I ought to do is forget what she s got and go out there right nowand tighten those bolts.That s right.Yeah, the bolts.I ll do that.Thebolts.The bolts.When Bill awoke it was to a scream and a clatter.Twenty-eightThe fresh morning was bright and a little warm when Bill charged out of theIce Man s trailer after having jerked on his pants and shoes.Glancing up atthe whirligig, he saw the bucket had dipped down and it swung back and forthPage 67ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.htmllike a steam shovel scoop and little pops of fresh green paint were fallingdown from it like a slow radioactive rain.Bill had never heard of Icarus, but the way Conrad lay, his neck bent, hisback twisted in an even deeper U, his hind legs up in the air and drooping,balancing as if he were trying to do a trick by standing on his neck with hisfeet in the air, he had crashed in a way Icarus might have crashed after hiswings melted from the heat of the sun.Two gallons of bright green paint had exploded like a giant avocado all overthe ground and Conrad.It had splattered onto the Ice Man s trailer,splotching the side of it as if someone had chewed and spat out great wads ofspinach.Some of the paint had spattered across the image of the Ice Man andhad beaded up into fast-drying balls that looked like uncut emeralds.A paintbrush, wet with paint, had flown onto the window of the Ice Man strailer and had stuck there as if it were an exotic bird that had smashed intoit.One of Conrad s shoes was lying upright in a puddle of paint.Already there were others gathering.Pete, who Bill thought may have waitedthere all night for a blow job, and now, screaming, U.S.Grant, and a midgetnamed Spike, spinning about on one leg uttering obscenities.Others wereappearing: Double Buckwheat, pumpkin heads, some greasers, and finally Frost.Frost and Bill moved toward Conrad at the same time.They arrived at his sideat the same time.Conrad s head was turned and he lay with one side of hisface in the dirt and the eye they could see was popped out of place on thetendons.It lay on his cheek as if trying to crawl off.There was green paintrunning down his long nose and over his top lip, gathering in the crease wherehis mouth was open, bathing a handful of teeth scattered inside his mouth.Another two or three teeth lay in a puddle of paint around his head.There wasmore green paint than blood, but there was blood too.Conrad was breathing ina rattling sort of way, like something fragile had been crunched inside ofcellophane and was continually being unwrapped or danced upon.Bill got down on his hands and knees and looked at the eyeball that was out ofthe socket so Conrad could see him.Above, the eyelash winked as if it stillhoused its charge [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]