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.My mother and hersister are gently trying to wrestle her back down on to the bed as they are tryingto sponge her body while she continues to scream what sounds like  a-sipa-a-sipa-a-sipa-a-sipa over and over again, eyes wide open like a terrified child.Cancer had torn apart the woman I once recognized as the strongest woman inmy life.She could no longer speak real words, and any sound she made was oneof utter anguish.I have tried for years in vain to try to scratch the sound of herscreams from my memory and hearing the soft sounds of my mother s voicecooing to her,  Mommy, Mommy, I m here. As young as I was, I knew that if Ihad a gun I would have shot her right then and there to set her free.As I write this paper, I am listening to those screams echoing in my earsagain.While reading One True Thing, I could not help but feel complete sympa-thy for Ellen.Although I was not the primary caregiver as she was, I saw mymother play the role and it broke my heart.As a Catholic, it has been preachedto me that murder and suicide are punished by going to hell after death.How-ever, once again my own views are mixed into the beliefs of my religion.Onceagain I feel that I am betraying my religion as I admit that in Ellen s situation, I186 Writing about Euthanasiawould have carried through with the euthanasia.I see it as a torture to be able torelease someone you love from suffering, but just standing to the side for legalityreasons.We are allowed to euthanize pets to ease them from pain, yet we do notdeem humans worthy enough for the same blessing.I use the word  blessing incontrast to having seen numerous loved ones die slowly with only cries of pain astheir last sounds on earth.If I am fated to have the same slow death of cancer likethe rest of my family, I would hope that someone would help me end my life.Jean had written in an earlier essay about her beloved maternal grand-father s death, but now she writes about her maternal grandmother, whom sheassociates with the word  pain. She re-creates for her readers the awful soundsand sights of her grandmother s intractable suffering.She uses active verbsthroughout the essay:  running down the stairs,  hearing screaming and yell-ing,  rushing into the makeshift bedroom, seeing her grandmother  writhingon the sheets,  screaming out incoherent and blood-chilling sounds.She usesan oxymoron,  gently wrestling, to describe her family s efforts to subdueBopzie, whose image  eyes wide open like a terrified child  will not soon beforgotten.The image may also characterize Jean s appearance at the time.Indeed, she succeeds in sketching a double portrait of horror: the horror of adying grandmother who is reduced to infantile screams and the horror of ayoung child watching helplessly, unable to exorcise this image from memory.Jean uses excellent diction throughout the essay, and she ends the paragraphwith a jarring and unexpected sentence:  As young as I was, I knew that if I hada gun I would have shot her right then and there to set her free.I suggested earlier that the word  traumatic may be too strong todescribe students experiences with grandparents deaths, but the word is ap-propriate in Jean s case.It is easy for teachers to become inured to studentswho tell them that a grandparent has recently died: recall the email Richardreceived on a composition listserv describing students  well intentioned buttrite narratives about how grandpa s death broke their hearts. Jean s essayreminds us how terrifying this experience may be to a young person or to anolder person.Nor does the  naturalness of a grandparent s death make iteasier to accept.Ava:  The Pain That It Caused Both Her and My Family Was UnbearableOne True Thing was a brutal reminder of the recent death of my grandmother.The cruelty of cancer was all too familiar: watching the slow deterioration, therages, and the eerie reversion to a state of infancy.Kate went through the samehumiliation that my grandmother had experienced; she was ashamed that shehad become incontinent and that my sister and grandfather had to help changeher diapers.The main difference is that, throughout everything, my grand-Writing about Euthanasia 187mother never asked for anyone to end her life, although we all wished we couldhelp ease her suffering, one way or another.We felt the same as Ellen s father,George:  No one should ever have to live like that.No one. She was terrified ofdeath and fought until the bitter end [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]